Relating tips for ENTP personality types.

Hello lovely Entp types!

I hope you are all feeling awesome! I have been reflecting back to high school where I learnt a lot of lessons when it came to socialising. So, I have compiled a few bullet points.

As Entp types we notice the inconsistencies in people's arguments (a typical NT thing). We also notice when someone says an opinion and puts it forward as a fact. It irritates us. So we find ourselves correcting people and if that doesn't work we point out the flaws and we gladly give correct replacements full of facts, research and what we feel is common sense. :) We love sharing our well researched and refined thoughts on subjects. In fact we get quite carried away and often don't realise when other person is feeling intimidated, bored or even confused. 

 Others may be labelling you as argumentative and insensitive, forget what they say and just remember this.
You are intelligent, witty and crazy in a good way. Yes, you get carried away and a bit too passionate about proving something is not logical but you don't mean it in a horrid way. Remember yesterday does not define you. So forget what went wrong yesterday and what someone said about you. Today is a fresh start and you are in control. You are the author of your story. The way you think is essential when it comes to moving forward and developing as an individual. So the first thing is believing you can be the best version of yourself.

Here are a few things to keep in mind.

1.  Relating is about understanding people. When someone talks instead of noticing how illogical and inaccurate their words are try and see what has led them to having this opinion. You will also notice that for most people they don't want to argue about atheism versus religion or whether time travel is possible. People don't want to talk about whether abortion is okay or feminism. By people I mean most people in high school. So the point is let that be okay. Find something else to talk about. We all know what it  is like when we have to sit and listen to someone talk about a topic we either can't relate to  or find boring. As Entp types we find theories, philosophies fascinating and we could sit four hours discussing and arguing point. Here's the headline. Most people find that boring and will eventually find it irritating if we talk about theoretical topics. So instead use your awesome extroverted intuition to find a topic in common that you feel is interesting and give it a twist. An example is I hate talking about make up but I don't mind talking about make up made with natural ingredients. When people go on and on about designer bags and I wish they were talking about gadgets I simply point out a brand who kill crocodiles to make their handbags then I ask how they feel about this. See. Conversations don't have to be boring!

2. Speak in a calm manner and remember that most people are Sensory types which means they will lose you if you jump from point to point. They will also not pick up on how you have connected two seemingly different points together. So, point out specifically how a new point your making is related to first point. Ask people if they understand and remember to give examples. If you are being misunderstood calmly clarify your views. If you are still being misunderstood simply let person know and add how it makes you feel. "I have tried to explain but I feel we have rather different opinions and are struggling to see eye to eye. Let's leave it here and maybe we can pick up from here in future some time/ be okay with our differences" Remember we can give people information but we can not make anyone understand nor can we make anyone change their views. We can influence people by selecting our words wisely. We can influence people through listening to them and making them feel heard. We can be warm and draw people to us and we can use stories and humor when explaining points so people can relate. The better we understand the personality of the person we are talking to will allow us to understand what kind of information they prefer. Tailor your information to suit the personality and needs of the person you are talking to. Talking isn't about us feeling good with our arguing skills and our intelligence. Talking is about people feeling you have heard what they said, understood them and shared some insightful gems or practical tips.

3. Pick up on people's facial expressions. Is person still listening to you? Are they fidgeting and wishing they could be elsewhere ? Do they look intimidated? As soon as you notice do something! Ask the person a question about the topic, mention a story, ask them their opinion and give them the spotlight. As soon as you notice someone's bored takes different direction that's more engaging. As I mentioned above most people don't like getting too theoretical so stick to basics. Give people ideas and practical tips. People always appreciate both. If they are still interested maybe send them a link to an article or video. Keep it sweet and simple. Trust me they will ask you for more information if they need it. There's no rush. As Entp types we sometimes want to share everything in our heads with people. All our thoughts, philosophies and research. Give people bite size and let them ask for more.

4. You have an advantage of understanding very quickly complex things so share your understanding with others when they are struggling. Break it down and present it in your up beat, creative and humorous manner. It will be appreciated. Also when talking to others instead of noticing the argument and how inaccurate it is. Step back and just understand the person's perspective then reflect it back. "So you believe that ..." "You speak so passionately about..."
Let the person know the points you agree with them on. As a society I feel we often point out our differences but  overlook our similarities. We allow the differences to create barriers yet don't allow the similarities to bond us. Focus on the common ground you have with someone.

5. Entp types are fantastic at solving problems. We are future oriented so we easily see what would work in the long run. We can pick up flaws to avoid unnecessary issues and with our brain storming strength we tend to come up with more than one solution. Use these strengths to help family and friends solve their problems. :) One thing to remember when someone talks about a problem though is you may come across individuals who are struggling with a situation but want to talk about how they feel instead of solutions. We all have our preferences. So long as something works for a person and makes them feel comfortable that is absolutely fine.

 6. Once we develop our introverted thinking we have a strong sense of right and wrong. We detest authority figures who justify wrong and even when it comes to ourselves we hold ourselves accountable. At this stage we are less likely to justify our actions simply coz we are brilliant at being our own defence lawyers. That's brilliant coz most people will appreciate you being straight up.

7. Everyone seems to think they are right. Now whether everyone has a good argument or not, the thing to remember is we are all individuals and we come to different conclusions in our lives. We change as we experience and learn. Its okay for people to be illogical and to believe in things which seem absurd to us. Allow them. We are all entitled to our opinions regardless of how they maybe labelled. It is also perfectly fine if someone prefers talking about how something made them feel instead of the theory side of things. Not everyone wants to figure out how and why something happened.

I hope these help. I've kept points to a minimum so its not an overload. I would also like to apologise for my lack of consistency in blogging. Sorry! I hope to write more regularly.

Lots of love
Haleema

Xxx

7 Entp Clichés.

                           
•Assuming things are obvious especially triggers to problems and the solutions. I tend to forget just because something is obvious to me doesn't mean in reality it is.
Being aware that majority of people are traditionalists and from the SJ crew really helps. Most people take in information and value the information which can be verified by their senses. This awareness is essential as not everyone uses the same preference when taking in information hence their understanding and perspective will differ. If we want to communicate effectively it is crucial  we first understand the other person's perspective and their communication style.

• Distraction. I am so easily distracted I have recently started playing online games on Lumosity to improve my concentration. Just last week I started searching for jobs online and came across  a job as a Psychotherapist in HMP but  a few minutes later I decided (alongside my Enfp friend) pretending we were both Private Detectives for hire to see what responce we would get was an interesting experiment. So we spent a few minutes creating a 'career promoting' message and even a new email account for 'clients'. It is only now as I type this that I have remembered neither of us has even checked the email  account. What bad customer service. An hour after this I found myself researching serial killers and reading into the Yorkshire Ripper (Peter Sutcliffe).

• Getting involved in far too many projects, spreading myself very thin and then getting bored once I have to deal with the details and lengthy process. I must admit though that although I often have lots of projects running side by side creating pressure I secretly love the thrill of racing against time to get things done. Its a challenge in itself. :)

• Under estimating time needed to reach a deadline. I take advantage knowing I  work best under pressure however, my estimation of time is poor. I find myself pacing up and down the room hours before an assignment / speech deadline; as I talk out loud to myself -often switching from my tutor voice to my coach voice. I can not list the number of times I have handed in an assignment and felt guilty for writing it so last minute.com and submitting a draft version.

• Never completing a non fiction or a magazine albeit telling myself I will sit down with a cuppa and read. Never happens. Yet it never stops me from picking up the next magazine edition. Although I have a bookshelf and storage boxes full of books and towers piled up (giving the impression I am a bookholic) the reality is apart from a handful of non fiction books I have not completed any yet.

• Believing I can handle anything and that everything will always turn out fine (highly optimistic) .  I rely a lot and take pride in my adaptability. I also blame this strength for being the reason I find myself watching a Jason Statham movie hours before a deadline is due.

• Getting bored. Even when I attend self selected courses and activities  it is standard for me to feel bored rather quick. Having a routine that is the same daily bores me. A career where I am not using creativity, dealing with complex issues/theories or atleast problem solving is hard for me to sustain. I left years of teaching as I found it too structured and predictable. The meetings, emails and paperwork frustrated me. I did enjoy delivering the lessons and (strangely) even dealing with challenging teenagers. (Eek, a challenge.) I finally decided to start delivering workshopos and talks in order to inspire people in a creative and self managed manner. I love it.
Being able to predict most of the following week is boring too. I like leaving slots through out the week to do whatever takes my fancy when the moment arrives. The thought of planning every day, week and month is terrifying. What's there to enjoy if all is so predictable. The unexpected brings with it surprises, even challenges and thrills. :)
 Reading about celebrities is boring. Shopping with friends is boring (infact I rarely shop with friends). Having a normal 'small talk'  conversation is boring.

• Remaining ever so calm even when I receive a warning letter from a debt company because I kept postponing  to pay my phone  bill. They inform me if I dont pay I will be taken to court. Instead of quickly making a call to pay I check to see what deadline they have given me. 5 working days? That's alright. Doubt I'll be going court. I'll make the call next week. No worry.
Believing I can talk my way out of anything.

• My ears pricking up at the sound of the word 'challenge'. It still puzzles me as to why many people seem to prefer the predictable and aren't always smiling at the thought of taking on a challenge. For me its not just an opportunity to prove I can take on a challenge, it also contributes to my competency and self development.

Things for ENTP types to do when bored in a lecture.

There are two times you will find me yawning and looking zoned out. The first is when I'm tired and the other when I'm bored. Usually its the latter.

Boredom is something I seem to experience very very often. Most things seem too 'Normal' and bore me. I need the new, the  complex and the challenging for my mind to be engaged.

                                                                              * * * 

    According to Mbti typology I type as an Entp. 

   Entp and Enfp types have Ne (extroverted intuition) as their dominant function. Ne is a free flowing, creative function which seeks possibilities; the new and exciting. Entp and Enfp types make good conversationalists partly due to this Ne function. It also means both Entp and Enfp types tend to have tonnes to talk about as the activities and topics they involve their selves in are not limited in any way. Everything is interesting. Everything 'may' come in use one day. Everything is 'worth' checking out. It explains why both Entp and Enfp types are ever so curious and also never seem to run out of things to talk about.

                                                                            * * *

  However, every strength has a down side.

    Ne is focused so strongly on change and the future that it struggles  with staying in the moment.
It is restless. It hates being at a standstill.
For this reason  Entp and Enfp types are likely to be hyperactive. Many are easily diagnosed with ADHD. Usually it's simply boredom.

                                                                      * * *

Here I have compiled a mini list of things I do when I am bored (During a lecture or meeting - When it is way too rude to just walk out.)

Don't forget to comment with the things you do. Especially if you are an Entp or Enfp.

• Create a To Do list. I prefer writing my lists however, a good app is Any do. Evernote is another one  great for  lists and brainstorming. You are able to attach images, documents, links, maps and much more. Use it for your journal writing or your projects.

•Brain storm ideas for projects. (It's what Ne is awesome at.)

•Have a peak in my Pocket app where I enjoy saving articles that I don't have enough time to read. It comes in handy when I am bored.
Read a Psychologies, Fortune or Scientific American Mind magazine. (Basically any magazine apart from Vogue unless I'm very bored.) I recently picked up a True Crime magazine. It turned out an 'OK' read. (If anyone knows of a brilliant crime magazine -preferably covering the psych of murderers- let me know. I find serial killers so fascinating.)

•Search apps for productivity and memory. A favourite is Wunderlist. I love how you can create categories and then add things to do, If you are an Entp you will think of bazillion things that need doing and then your introverted thinking will kick in which wants to categorise everything. That's why Wunderlist is very handy. 

 Many Entp and Enfp types struggle with concentration. Lumosity is a great website where you can play games to improve memory and concentration. As an added bonus you can create an account and save your progress.

•Learn a language. (Spanish at the moment as I plan on visiting in a few months!)
A good app is Duolingo.

• Listen to a talk on Ted.

 Here are my favourite ones:

Brene' Brown's talk on vulnerability is very powerful and a must listen. Click here.

Fond of spoken word and some optimism? You will love Sara Kay. Here's the link to her talk 'If I should have a daughter'.

•Go crazy and enroll on way too many paid for and free online courses. Currently I am doing 5 paid for online courses and 5 free mini courses on Edx. (Ranging from Chinese Thought  to Neuroscience.)
Edx is a fantastic website so check it out. Just keep the Ne in check!

• Read controversial topics and look into arguments of both sides whether its capital punishment or  abortion.

•Purchase or then add books to my Amazon wish list. A recent addition is Toxic Childhood by Sue Palmer.

• Blog. This is a new thing so let's see how long it lasts. Apparently, I should be getting bored eventually. 

                Till next time!

                Haleema

                Xxx