Relating tips for ENTP personality types.

Hello lovely Entp types!

I hope you are all feeling awesome! I have been reflecting back to high school where I learnt a lot of lessons when it came to socialising. So, I have compiled a few bullet points.

As Entp types we notice the inconsistencies in people's arguments (a typical NT thing). We also notice when someone says an opinion and puts it forward as a fact. It irritates us. So we find ourselves correcting people and if that doesn't work we point out the flaws and we gladly give correct replacements full of facts, research and what we feel is common sense. :) We love sharing our well researched and refined thoughts on subjects. In fact we get quite carried away and often don't realise when other person is feeling intimidated, bored or even confused. 

 Others may be labelling you as argumentative and insensitive, forget what they say and just remember this.
You are intelligent, witty and crazy in a good way. Yes, you get carried away and a bit too passionate about proving something is not logical but you don't mean it in a horrid way. Remember yesterday does not define you. So forget what went wrong yesterday and what someone said about you. Today is a fresh start and you are in control. You are the author of your story. The way you think is essential when it comes to moving forward and developing as an individual. So the first thing is believing you can be the best version of yourself.

Here are a few things to keep in mind.

1.  Relating is about understanding people. When someone talks instead of noticing how illogical and inaccurate their words are try and see what has led them to having this opinion. You will also notice that for most people they don't want to argue about atheism versus religion or whether time travel is possible. People don't want to talk about whether abortion is okay or feminism. By people I mean most people in high school. So the point is let that be okay. Find something else to talk about. We all know what it  is like when we have to sit and listen to someone talk about a topic we either can't relate to  or find boring. As Entp types we find theories, philosophies fascinating and we could sit four hours discussing and arguing point. Here's the headline. Most people find that boring and will eventually find it irritating if we talk about theoretical topics. So instead use your awesome extroverted intuition to find a topic in common that you feel is interesting and give it a twist. An example is I hate talking about make up but I don't mind talking about make up made with natural ingredients. When people go on and on about designer bags and I wish they were talking about gadgets I simply point out a brand who kill crocodiles to make their handbags then I ask how they feel about this. See. Conversations don't have to be boring!

2. Speak in a calm manner and remember that most people are Sensory types which means they will lose you if you jump from point to point. They will also not pick up on how you have connected two seemingly different points together. So, point out specifically how a new point your making is related to first point. Ask people if they understand and remember to give examples. If you are being misunderstood calmly clarify your views. If you are still being misunderstood simply let person know and add how it makes you feel. "I have tried to explain but I feel we have rather different opinions and are struggling to see eye to eye. Let's leave it here and maybe we can pick up from here in future some time/ be okay with our differences" Remember we can give people information but we can not make anyone understand nor can we make anyone change their views. We can influence people by selecting our words wisely. We can influence people through listening to them and making them feel heard. We can be warm and draw people to us and we can use stories and humor when explaining points so people can relate. The better we understand the personality of the person we are talking to will allow us to understand what kind of information they prefer. Tailor your information to suit the personality and needs of the person you are talking to. Talking isn't about us feeling good with our arguing skills and our intelligence. Talking is about people feeling you have heard what they said, understood them and shared some insightful gems or practical tips.

3. Pick up on people's facial expressions. Is person still listening to you? Are they fidgeting and wishing they could be elsewhere ? Do they look intimidated? As soon as you notice do something! Ask the person a question about the topic, mention a story, ask them their opinion and give them the spotlight. As soon as you notice someone's bored takes different direction that's more engaging. As I mentioned above most people don't like getting too theoretical so stick to basics. Give people ideas and practical tips. People always appreciate both. If they are still interested maybe send them a link to an article or video. Keep it sweet and simple. Trust me they will ask you for more information if they need it. There's no rush. As Entp types we sometimes want to share everything in our heads with people. All our thoughts, philosophies and research. Give people bite size and let them ask for more.

4. You have an advantage of understanding very quickly complex things so share your understanding with others when they are struggling. Break it down and present it in your up beat, creative and humorous manner. It will be appreciated. Also when talking to others instead of noticing the argument and how inaccurate it is. Step back and just understand the person's perspective then reflect it back. "So you believe that ..." "You speak so passionately about..."
Let the person know the points you agree with them on. As a society I feel we often point out our differences but  overlook our similarities. We allow the differences to create barriers yet don't allow the similarities to bond us. Focus on the common ground you have with someone.

5. Entp types are fantastic at solving problems. We are future oriented so we easily see what would work in the long run. We can pick up flaws to avoid unnecessary issues and with our brain storming strength we tend to come up with more than one solution. Use these strengths to help family and friends solve their problems. :) One thing to remember when someone talks about a problem though is you may come across individuals who are struggling with a situation but want to talk about how they feel instead of solutions. We all have our preferences. So long as something works for a person and makes them feel comfortable that is absolutely fine.

 6. Once we develop our introverted thinking we have a strong sense of right and wrong. We detest authority figures who justify wrong and even when it comes to ourselves we hold ourselves accountable. At this stage we are less likely to justify our actions simply coz we are brilliant at being our own defence lawyers. That's brilliant coz most people will appreciate you being straight up.

7. Everyone seems to think they are right. Now whether everyone has a good argument or not, the thing to remember is we are all individuals and we come to different conclusions in our lives. We change as we experience and learn. Its okay for people to be illogical and to believe in things which seem absurd to us. Allow them. We are all entitled to our opinions regardless of how they maybe labelled. It is also perfectly fine if someone prefers talking about how something made them feel instead of the theory side of things. Not everyone wants to figure out how and why something happened.

I hope these help. I've kept points to a minimum so its not an overload. I would also like to apologise for my lack of consistency in blogging. Sorry! I hope to write more regularly.

Lots of love
Haleema

Xxx